Sunday, January 09, 2005
the moment has passed
ok so christmas and new years went by really quickly. can't be bummed to try and put all the events that occured in words. it was a great christmas dinner and new year celebration. i had an eventful 2 weeks back but by the time the 2 weeks was almost up i couldn't wait to go back to singapore. i needed to just go back to work. i needed to feel productive and worthwhile. sitting on my bum for 2 weeks doing absolute nonsense doesn't do much for me.anyway...new years resolutions.
- stop biting my fingernails
- learn a new word everyday
- resist the temptations of coming home so often
- save more money
- stop correcting other people's grammar and pronounciation
the last one isn't that important. apparently some of my friends actually appreciate it. but thing is...i'm not exactly an english teacher. i have no idea what the rules are when it comes to grammar. my theory is...if it sounds wrong it usually is wrong. if it looks wrong then it usually is wrong. anyway...need to brush up on my grasp with the english language. people might think i'm good at it because i speak coherantly i'm taking it slow. none of the quit smoking and eat healthy and exercise more crap cause i just don't have the motivation to do all that.
freaky friday story: found a small piece of flesh missing from the sole of my foot. no pain...no idea where it went or how it went...still no pain. did a little surgery...poked around a bit to figure out what went wrong. still have no clue. i'm hoping i stepped on a pebble or something and that it's not some flesh eating bacteria that's slowly feasting on my flesh.
word of the day:
obsequious - Full of or exhibiting servile compliance; fawning (basically...kowtow-ing)
Read more!
feefs, 10:03 AM
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
fa la la la la
christmas is just around the corner...not that i truly celebrate it but it's always nice to have just a pinch of christmas spirit. i'm supposed to organize a few outings and stuff amongst friends. i've lost touch with my organizational skills. i'm sitting here wondering what's the first thing i should do. there was a time where all this came so easily. oh well...i think it's time to get back in touch.i've been back in kl for a couple of days now. still have about 2 weeks left of holidays. it's nice to be home without having to worry about going back for work. at least for awhile. anyway...friends were down in singapore for a couple of days. didn't get to see them much cause i was working most of the time. but whatever time we did spend together was fun.
Read more!
feefs, 9:40 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
another nutshell?
attempting to summarise the events of the past 1 and a half months into a nutshell would just be futile. so many things have happened...people came...people left...dinners came and gone...yum cha sessions...gossips...mj sessions...and the list goes on. now that i don't have a pc or a laptop i feel as if i have nowhere to pen down the events and thoughts that go by. to solve that problem i got myself a journal. i've actually been jotting down random thoughts in my journal (handwritten) for a few months now. and when i read back on the things i wrote...it disappoints me to know that i never shared it with the people around me. sometimes i wonder where i come up with all those ideas and thoughts and opinions. it's not something that i can plan to say at a certain time and it's not something that i remind myself to talk about when i'm back with my friends. it's just random thoughts that pop by and disappear before i can even dissect them. i'm not about to start rambling on about some of the things that i've written. the moment has passed. my experiences and observations in singapore will remain my own as with the boredom and the torture that i suffer alone. oh well...maybe some of these things are better left unsaid.it's actually not as bad as i make it out to be. working in singapore can be good for some people. i am not one of them. to me...singapore is like...silence. sometimes you want it...sometimes you don't...and too much of it can drive a person insane.
anyway...updates...i'm still laptop-less. i'm hoping to get one soon *cross fingers* that's about it :)
Read more!
feefs, 12:31 PM
Sunday, October 31, 2004
it's been 2 months since i was robbed and i still haven't died of boredom. i've managed to go through 2 video ezy loyalty programme cards since then. meaning i've rented up to 60 vcds/dvds in the past 2 months. that'll probably amount up to close to 200 singapore dollars. if i saved the money instead i'd be 500 ringgit closer to getting a new laptop. i don't have a single cent saved yet so it looks like the laptop will have to wait till after chinese new year.anyway...i'm not exactly well right now. lost my voice a few days back. i'm still wondering why i lost my voice....was it the screaming or was it a virus that's been circulated? in any case...my voice still sounds scratchy. some say its manly and some even call it sexy. i'd definitely disagree with the latter.
i have yet to plan my trip to wherever it is i wanna go at the end of the year. things are just to busy at the moment. my family just bought a house back home. looks like i'm moving back to DJ. not going to be one of the BU kias anymore. we'll be moving before chinese new year so i've got lotsa packing and shopping for furniture to do. since i don't technically live in KL anymore i shouldn't have much responsibilities with the whole move but i just realized how much shit i've accumulated over the past 23 years of my life. it's massive. i think it's a girl thing not to throw things out. we tend to keep things well past its expiry date (not literally) just for keepsakes. the thought that someday it might come in handy causes us to hold on to things till fungi (spelling?) starts growing.
anyway...my passport has been approved. will be getting it sometime before hari raya. somehow that makes me feel normal again. i like having the option to just up and leave to a foreign country anytime i want (singapore excluded). now i get to hold a red passport and not a blue one. i feel more glamorous. i feel smug :)
Read more!
feefs, 7:39 PM
Monday, October 11, 2004
updates in a nutshell
haven't gotten around to buying a new laptop...partly because i have no money. wait...it's only because i have no money...there's no other reason. but i did buy myself a nice flat screen tv and a dvd player and i did sign up for cable tv so that's been keeping me entertained for the past month or so. i figured i'll buy a new laptop sometime during chinese new year.besides that i've been working and trying to keep busy to kill boredom. i haven't made any friends in singapore and it's already been 6 months. how time passes and i'm glad it's passing by really fast. but that's relative so i guess i should say that i'm glad it 'feels' like it's passing by really fast. i've been coming home less often after the whole 'i got robbed escapade'. this month should be refreshing though since a few friends are travelling south.
besides that...i've been watching a lot of tv series. i'm trying to max out on my video ezy membership since i got the dvd player. i've also been reading. finished the da vinci code sometime back and now i'm trying to pick on 'chariots of the gods'. my next book will be 'gods of the gold'. in case u're wondering...it's not a religious book. nothing to do with preaching gods word and stuff. i haven't gone mad (no offense to all you christians out there). it's not my thing.
anyway...time to go for lunch with the rest of the buds before i head back to singapore later today. will update the next time i'm back which will probably be somewhere in november. until then....
Read more!
feefs, 10:45 PM
Monday, September 27, 2004
in a nutshell
in a nutshell..- robbed last month.
- laptop was stolen.
- international passport stolen
- clothes that are impossible to buy back stolen.
- no internet access
- no money
its been a hell of a month. then again...no one really notices my online absence.
Read more!
feefs, 3:18 AM
Thursday, August 26, 2004
14 years?
14 years to get together with the person that i'm meant to be with and only a 49% chance of us staying together? if he was my soulmate then why just the measly 49%? so i'm really doomed to grow up alone and spend the rest of my life like one of those cat ladies you see on tv who have nothing and nobody but the stray cats that loaf around the house. that's if i even have a house to myself. oh well..what's the worst that could happen? i'd choke to death on a furball?
a friend of mine is in singapore for a few days. actually she arrived yesterday and is leaving tomorrow. so naturally we went shopping today. i actually expected myself to just tag along and not purchase anything except for maybe one or two minor items but i ended up spending almost 300 dollars. bought a couple of things for myself and a present for a friend whose birthday is coming up *wink*. it was nice though. it's not often that i get to walk around town with a friend. yes i am a loser in singapore...i'm a loser back in KL too but i'm a bigger loser here. so anyway...she's leaving tomorrow so i guess that'll be the end of my "having a friend in singapore" fantasy.
i noticed that the topic of being single has cropped up many times over the past few months. people have constantly been asking me questions about my lack of relationships. try as hard as they might...i don't think they will ever be able to dissect me. but that's not because i'm complicated...it's probably cause i'm not very forthcoming when answering their questions. i tend to hide a lot and most of what i say and do contradicts everything else that i say and do. i know this might sound bitchy and antisocial of me but i like it when people just can't figure me out. i don't like it when they know too much cause that would increase the chances of lies and secrets changing hands. either way...people are starting to talk about my prolonged singlehood. why am i single? i don't know really...maybe i just haven't met someone that i'm remotely interested in. maybe it's because i'm 300 miles from home. maybe it's because i like being single. maybe it's because i'm a total bitch and i repel anyone who comes near me. maybe it's because i've put on so much weight i now look like the marshmallow man. lotsa maybe's...still no real answer.
has i gone past my 'being single' expiry date? i never knew there was an expiry date on being single. i can imagine people whispering "ooh...she must be a terrible person cause nobody wants her. you know she's been single for more than 2 years?" some people might be offended by those words. i on the other hand...will not let it affect me. i'm not the kind of person who would take offense...unless you're insulting my parents. wait...i insult my own parents...so heck...i guess i don't take offense at anything. i might seem like i'm offended but i'm really just teasing.
anyway...that got me to wondering...why is it that some people just can't live with the idea of being alone? i actually like living alone. i have all the time and space to do everything that i want to do and that includes my secret single behaviour. there are a few things that i like to do by myself...when i'm all alone so no one can bear witness. yes there are definitely times when i wish that i have someone around to just watch movies with...go to the theatre with or hang out with but that's as far as it goes. is it because they need assurance? they need someone there to make them feel good about themselves...to feel more secure...to reassure them that they're worth something?
attached people generally look at single people as rejected merchandise. something must be wrong with us single people...that's why we're single. are we the new freaks? sometimes i wonder whether they are the freaks. i know couples who are in it for love and i truly respect them and support them. there are others who are just in it because they can't stand the idea of being alone. because they're afraid that if they don't jump at this chance...they might not have another one in the future. i'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than to spend the rest of my life settling for mediocre. i'm a high achiever...i blame my parents.
anyway...that's just my thoughts. but in the end...i guess it's a matter of what makes us happy. each individual has a different threshold. maybe some people just don't have my kind of high expectations which makes it easier for them to settle. then again...who am i to say that they're settling. who am i to say anything for that matter? i have only one pair of shoes...my own.
Read more!
feefs, 7:26 AM
