Monday, December 08, 2003
could it be??
i finally got a laptop today. settled for the fujitsu. actually i didnt exactly settle. i went out of my budget to get it. i'm pretty happy though. anyway...this is my first time using microsoft XP so i'm a little new with the setup and stuff. still learning. i also bought a new phone last week. not sure whether i mentioned it. these days i've been feeling like an aunty. i didn't know how to use the phone at first and it turns out my 12 year old student did and so she taught me a thing or two about it. i guess there are certain things that i can learn from the young ones.i'm listening to the soundtrack of meet joe black that my brother burned for me a couple of months back. for some reason i couldn't play it on my desktop but it works just fine on the laptop. if you're into instrumental stuff then you should pick up a copy of this album. it's really nice.
i was out having a drink with a friend sometime last week and he asked me for my 'number'. i don't mean my phone number or bank account number. he was asking for the number of guys that i've dated (it's funny how we don't 'date' anymore) or should i say have been involved with. this kind of information should only be given out to close friends or friends you know for a fact will not hold judgement. telling someone you just met your 'number' is not going to put him in your good books unless it's somewhere below 3.
anyway...we got to talking and i got to thinking. what's the average? we're in our early twenties...some of us reaching our mid twenties. what's not too much and not too little? i can safely say that i can count my serious intimate relationships with one hand. bear in mind that i stress on the serious part because we are in relationships all the time. it's a matter of whether it's an platonic one or a intimate one....a deeply emotional one or a shallow one. i have friends who've had only one serious relationship and i also have friends who've had up to 40 ex-girlfriends. i'm assuming that out of the 40...there were only (most to most) 10 serious ones.
what i'm wondering is....if you've had less than 2 ex's...does it make you a loser? if someone above the age of 20 tells me that he's got only 1 ex-girlfriend i'd probably think that there was something wrong with him.....there must be....if not why would he have only 1 ex-girlfriend. if someone above the age of 20 tells me that he's got between 3-6 girlfriends i'd probably just shrug it off and think it's normal. anything more than 7 and i'd think he's a village bicycle (we don't use that term for guys as often as we should). then it hit me....if a decent guy in his twenties has had so many relationships and it all didn't work out...could 'he' be the problem? maybe it's not so much about the 'us' but more of the 'him' that is the problem. similarly...it could be us that is the problem. maybe we're single not because we pick the wrong people....maybe we're single because we're the ones with the problem. it could be a physical problem...an emotional one...a commitment problem...it could be anything.
we prefer to place blame on others to make ourselves feel better. i know i do sometimes. what's important is pinpointing our faults and trying to rectify them. we learn lessons from every relationship that we've been in. these lessons are very important because we bring them into our next relationship. if the reason for all the past break ups is ourselves then we should try and figure out what our mistakes are so we don't repeat them in the future. if we insist that it's not our fault and continue remaining as is then there is a possibility that we might eventually get stuck with lines like 'it's not your fault...i just don't think this is working out anymore.' men only say that to save their asses anyway. and if we go on thinking that they actually mean it then we might be doomed.
lesson of the day....it's not good to have too little..and it's not good to have too much.
feefs, 12:58 PM
