Saturday, January 10, 2004
hi...how are you?
i used to enjoy socializing during my younger days. i'm not that old...not even near being old but i'm starting to feel it. i used to enjoy going out and meeting new people and getting more acquainted with my old friends. i didn't mind going to crowded places or having to carry out a conversation in a loud place by shouting over the table. nowadays i find myself dreading the unknown. going to crowded places where i hardly know anyone. meeting new people becomes such a chore. there are these fake conversations that go something along the lines of this:-stranger: hello...my name is 'insert name here'.
me: hi...i'm 'insert my name here'
stranger: so how are you?
me: i'm fine.
now that's the conversation killer. two words that can just kill any idea of a decent conversation. but how are we supposed to react? are we supposed to say 'hey i'm great' and not mean it cause honestly my life isn't near great. i can't open a conversation with a stranger with things like 'omfg...u cannot believe the hell i'm going through. i just broke up with my boyfriend and my family is in a rut cause my dad is having 5 affairs simultaneously and don't even get me started with my friends. i don't understand why it's happening to me but i keep telling myself that it's for a reason. GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME!!!' first of all it's not a good first impression. nobody needs to know about your love life...family...your christian loving self and your neuroses all on their first encounter. so what do we do? we say i'm fine anyway in hopes that the other party will try and salvage whatever chance we have at a decent conversation. here's how the rest of the conversation goes:-
stranger: so what do you do? i mean are you working? studying?
me: working
stranger: wow...you look too young to be working. what do you do?
me: i teach music
stranger: omg...i've always wanted to learn (I REALLY HATE THIS REPLY...and i mean I REALLY REALLY HATE IT)
me: oh is it? why didn't you?
stranger: oh...no time. i used to learn when i was really young but my teacher kept smacking my hands so i lost interest. but now i want to learn it again. (WE DO NOT SMACK PEOPLE'S HANDS!!!)
me: oh how sad...anyway...it's never too late to start
when we meet someone new it's only natural to find out what that person does other than introduce themselves to strangers. so it's common to ask about jobs cause family...friends and relationships are too intimate for a first conversation. and by finding out what he/she does it also gives us a mental idea of whether the person is sane or not. jobs are the safest thing to talk about because you don't reveal too much about yourself but yet you're giving the other person an idea of your interests and ambitions.
but even then...i'm not interested in small talk. but nobody generally continues the 'hi...how are you?' with things like 'have you watched anna in kung-fu land?' or 'did you hear what happened in the middle east?' so we still insist on beating round the bush with trvial stuff such as work or mutual friends and the whole 'small world' talk. here's an example of 'small world' talk:-
stranger: where are you from?
me: i'm from DJ
stranger: oh...do you know 'insert name here'?
me: yes i do. 'insert name here' was in my school.
stranger: omg...'insert name here' is a close friend of mine. what a small world.
i have yet to figure out what's the best answer for the 'hi..how are you?' question. i might not be fine...i might as well be at the bottom of a well at that moment in time but i'm not going to say it out loud. so i put on this facade. i pretend to be nonchalant about everything and anything and try to blend in with the masses. after all...when you're down and out...it's not such a good idea to bring the whole world down with you. maybe it's just me. maybe i'm not handling the situation properly. but i'm tired of small talk. i'm tired of having to introduce myself everytime i meet someone new. i wish i could just skip all that and talk about the NOW.
feefs, 3:19 PM
