Wednesday, January 14, 2004
in moderation please!!!!!!
met my dad today...yes the infamous man whore is back from penang for a couple of days. he passed me a few packs of ciggies that he got from a friend. this grand gesture of his only showed how much he's encouraging me to smoke. when i asked him whether his intention was to encourage me to smoke he said "you don't smoke as much as i do so i guess you've got it under control." and then i wonder...i smoke less compared to my dad. but if you put me next to my friends..i look like a chimney.it's all about moderation isn't it? we should gamble in moderation...smoke in moderation...drink in moderation...shop in moderation. notice how all of the above mentioned are vices. we don't hear things like study in moderation...work in moderation...do good deeds in moderation....blah blah. isn't too much of a good thing never good? too much gambling isn't good (actually gambling is illegal altogether but i'm chinese and it's in my blood)...too much smoking and drinking is no good. i'd like to believe that too much studying and working is no good either. but then again it's only logical to control our bad habits as to not bring it to an extreme level.
wouldn't it be even better if we could stop it completely? i've told myself a million times that i should stop smoking. my longest running smoke free session lasted 24 hours. i know i'm weak...i know i'm hooked. i'm just in denial. i just keep telling myself that my desire to quit is not as strong as my desire for a ciggarette. doesn't that just mean that i'm hooked? habits are developed over the years. we acquire these habits through frequent repetition. i've got a habit of biting my fingernails. i've also developed a smoking habit and bad sleeping habits. but these can be altered over time. if i just revert back to normal behaviour and sleep regularly...i suppose through frequent repetition i'd get back on track and be on my way to normal sleeping habits.
but here's my question...who sets the bar? who sets the standards to what's normal...to what's moderate? shouldn't we be the governor of our lives? we should know ourselves better than anyone else does. we should know how much alcohol we can consume or how much work stress we can handle. i know i know...smoking and drinking is just plain bad regardless of whos' body we're in. but i've been getting a whole lot of "don't drink so much" or "don't smoke so much" lines coming at me and the thing is...i don't think i drink or smoke too much. i believe i practice these things in moderation. but that's only as compared to the people that i mix around with. but to the people who say those things to me...i'm like the epitome of all things bad and extreme.
oh well...in the end...my dad says that all habits can be kicked...even the good ones. and here are two habits that i really need to kick....1. biting my fingernails.....2. tardiness. it's not a new years resolution...it's just a thought and i highly doubt that i'll go on a quest to relinquish myself from those habits anytime soon.
feefs, 5:57 PM
