Thought Of The Day: that's the funny thing about romance. if you had to ask for it, it takes away all the romance.

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Thursday, June 24, 2004

my first official 'losing it in singapore' moment

i spent 3 hours of my day today screaming at kids. sometimes i wonder why i even bother. once..twice..three times...if they don't get it after that then why bother. they're never going to get it. how can one expect 4 year olds to understand anything beyond the word 'play'. i know i'm supposed to have an patience in abundance but i've had it. i know that i'm good at what i do. but for the first time today i actually questioned myself. do i really want to teach kids? can i really handle the stress? what if i snap and start poking them with sticks? i might break fingers and kneecaps. it's days like today that makes me want to quit. but i'm not a quitter (is there even such a word). i persevere even when it seems impossible. that's what i'm good at. that's what i'm going to do. stick with it in hopes that i won't have to deal with 4 year olds after the term is over. hopefully they'll drop out or branch out into individual classes. there's nothing worse than sticking six 4 year old kids in a room together. the words 'sit down'...'be quiet' and 'listen' doesn't register. heck...what was i expecting anyway.

anyway...i'm trying to decide whether i should go back home this sunday. after today's fiasco i think i need to unwind. i need to just relax and lame for a few days. rethink my whole teaching strategy and at the same time watch a EURO match or two. it'll be good timing cause sau yan will be back and andrew will be leaving so i get to see andrew before he goes and sau yan when she comes back. but if i do come back this sunday it means that i would have made a trip back every week in the past month. my initial plan was twice a month. how did it end up to be every week? but i do like going home and seeing everyone. it kinda regulates things. i like to be well rounded. work and play. i never liked to be the kinda person who worked and worked and worked. so going back gives me the chance to play a bit. i haven't decided about this week yet but i'm definitely going back next week. harith iskandar is on and i've already gotten tickets. i'm looking forward to it. anyone interested in joining the fun?