Thought Of The Day: that's the funny thing about romance. if you had to ask for it, it takes away all the romance.

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Wednesday, February 11, 2004

lost in.....

i was supposed to have an interview this morning...and for those of you who don't know me...i never do anything in the morning but sleep. luckily for me...i got a call at 9am and the interview has been postponed to tomorrow afternoon. didn't get a good sleep cause the house behind mine is under construction so the drilling was just intolerable. ended up tossing and turning for about 3-4 hours before finally falling into a premature slumber. i think i only got a grand total of 3 hours of decent sleep.

anyway...i've had to do a whole lot of thinking lately. mostly about my career path and what it is exactly i wanna do for the rest of my life. my parents are advocating the singapore job offer. i on the other hand do not fancy working in a fast paced environment where even the escalators go at top speed. the money sounds good...the opportunity sounds good...it's just the environment i'm afraid of. and hey...isn't fear a good excuse for not going?

oh well...this is what i've decided to do. since i have no idea what i wanna do in life...i'm just going to go with what sparks my interest. i've already tried the editorial thingey...and the education thingey...maybe it's time to move on to something else. and if that doesn't work out i can always try something else. i keep telling myself that i'm still young...that i still have years ahead of me to figure out where my passion lies. i don't believe in working because i have to. i believe that i must love my job. i wanna wake up in the morning and not try to figure out a way to get out of work. i wanna go to work with a smile. i wanna be able to enjoy my work and feel satisfied and fulfilled about it.

it's funny how someone mentioned to me today that most of my friends should be graduating soon and i've already been working for about 4 years. sometimes i feel left out. i didn't have the college/uni life that i always wanted. massive amounts of assignments...multiple choice questions...presentations...group studies...mid terms...finals...blah blah. i missed out on what most people today would tell me was the 'best times of their lives'. maybe someday i'll find the courage to go back to studying...but until then...i guess i have to live with myself.